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love

Redoubtable Richonne

UntitledFirstly, a  zombie apocalypse is no setting for a romantic romp!  Whilst I am not going to linger on the romance aspect of this episode , (maybe because I don’t really know my true feelings on the matter!)  I will address the following; I cannot be the only one who thinks of contraception challenges in this environment … perhaps condoms have been picked up on many runs for supplies who knows?? I mean if they could just be a little bit cautious…being pregnant and babies who need protecting in such a a hostile environment doesn’t instil me with happy endings.  Really this train of thought comes from a very selfish view of not wanting anything to compromise the killing machine duo that is             “ Richonne” and sure, seeing Rick in love and happy perturbs many female viewers . I am not immune to this.I am only human after all. Rick can’t be distracted – it won’t work otherwise. He cannot waiver.  If you can have sex  and even a meaningful relationship whilst trying to save human existence in such an environment then what do us mortals in everyday waking life have to complain about when it comes to relationships!!?! I have written about his brute force and  a warrior archetype that Rick embodies many times. I am enjoying the additional strength of a female by his side. You know that they would be the people at school appointed as captain for all sporting events and you would always be hoping you ended up on their team. Panic rises in me when those two are not with the rest of the group.  Remember in The Matrix how Neo finally understand he is the one and just he comes this amazing force to be reckoned with? I feel this translates to these two – they know it and believe it so much so that they are able to joke about their kills and plans that may go awry and make light of their carnival clear out.

Emerging from this episode was just how much Rick means to Michonne and perhaps how dependent she is on him. It goes beyond a reliance and a softer side has been seen. If something happens to Rick it questions whether Michonne could carry the group and keep leading. Love a flaw set up!  Once we know what a character values we know the impact it has if there is a threat of that being taken away. I often found myself wondering whether Rick’s reason or wanting to stay out just a little longer was to  extend the intimate bubble just a bit longer. Something that nourishes their soul. Everybody needs love – with such loss it seems like Rick craves this time for many reasons. It’s never ideal or the right time to be making out or have intimacy when you are looking after a group. Even leaders need love i hear you say! Love could be what forces these two to keep going, to have a reason – it’s the hope or the flicker of it.

Love is all you need…even in a zombie apocalypse

Laboured Love

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Hooray it was pouring rain on Sunday which was the ideal environment for Netflix, diet coke and binge watching the original series, LOVE.  I watch so much TV and work in TV – the reason why I get attached to certain shows is that I seem to be drawn more and more to shows that make me laugh but also allow me to examine and question some of the bigger topics in life in a non confrontational way. For this reason, I am loving watching LOVE.

( It would be remiss of me to not mention at this point the  wonderful acting by Paul Rust and Gillian Jacobs and the superb minds who created the show, Judd Apatow, Paul Rust and Lesley Arfin . Needless to say Paul Rust is sensational and he could bump Thomas Middleditch/Richard Hendricks from Silicon Valley as my number 1 onscreen nerd crush…)

I gave it a good, solid attempt and have a few eps left to go but still wanted to chatter about one or two points. Yes, LOVE is a somewhat huge, all encompassing title for a show. For me, I am enjoying how it explores the heightened states of anxiety surrounding hook up/meeting people culture. It delves into the emotional make up of the characters which is intriguing for me as it takes a more psychological approach which I was not expecting. It’s like a backlash to all those Hollywood romance genres and notions we hold.

The main characters, Gus and Mickey, are not overly appealing however they are real. If we were going to stereotype or categorise them then perhaps we could say that Gus is a nerdy, intellectual good guy and Mickey is a sassy but wounded soul, carrying addiction issues.

Anyway you can watch it and draw your own conclusions but I wanted to focus on this state we get into after we meet someone – and it terrifies me. I think the show has brilliantly captured this dance we do  when we meet someone. From over analysing texts, to obsessively stalking on social media  – the show really examines our behaviours (mostly unhealthy) when we meet someone new. I liked the scene where Gus is texting Mickey and deletes several messages – rather than being himself and writing a small thesis (something I can identify with) he has several attempts at being succinct and what he assumes will be of the “ playing it cool” tone. As highlighted by Gus’s colleague, ‘nothing dries up a girls vagina more than a paragraph of text.’ So many assumptions! I always liked the expression that like attracts like. Personally, intellectual stimulation floats my boat so I welcome a mini thesis on text . How else can you capture your audience and who knows how long you will maintain their interest for?! I found this whole episode a great commentary on why we censor ourselves more and more. It seems social media has created certain rules within rules and it’s hard to just let yourself be. I think some deeper ideas behind that episode pose the question –  Does that constant censoring/adapting/modifying of yourself effect who you end up with and how does that unfold in your relationship? No one can keep that behavioural pattern up?! It’s effort all the time. There is so much dialogue around social media, hook up culture and its impact on your relationship out there now that it really is its own character within shows.

A particularly dark and interesting scene was where Mickey is feeling rejected/abandoned and is obsessively looking at Gus’s facebook post. We can so easily lose ourselves and feel a true connection via nothing but images. We assume we know a person from these mediums.

Perhaps at its core of the show,  is this concept: when you meet a potential partner are they being themselves or is there so much set up and false pretense that the relationship breakdown is inevitable – no one can keep up appearances that well before the cracks of their past relationships, behavioural patterns and bad habits leak out or erupt. Can people truly just be and accept each other for light and dark ? This concept really challenges me – there’s so much vulnerability involved these days. The pressure of having to look good and being completely judged and swiped on any social media is enough to do your heads in.  It’s pretty rare to connect genuinely these days from the get go. Sometimes the simplicity of the Austen novels is beyond appealing. Dropping expectations of ourselves and others seem key to successful relationships be it romantic or otherwise and I found myself thinking deeply on these topics after episodes 7 and 8. Authenticity is a question this show is asking its viewers. Are we authentic to ourselves  and others or are we drowning in perceived reality and projected highlights of social media?

A few more episodes to go and we will see how it unfolds. Can they stay grounded and rooted, be themselves and be in a relationship or is compromise just too hard these days?! One thing that seems a constant these days is that love actually seems more like this …

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and less like this…

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Bandaids don’t fix bulletholes

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In Taylor we trust.

Move over Tyler Durden, Taylor swift  is stealing that slogan!

Now before we start Katy Perry is FOREVER. Britney Spears is canonised in my pop world.

Ever had one of those days where you can’t really tell people who you feel but music just captures it ? I can’t explain why “Bad Blood” is resonating but it is. Pretty simple and to the point – it is what it is. Simple lyrics. I like both versions. Obviously a female empowerment video always helps.

I am learning to appreciate Taylor, she wears her heart on her sleeve and in a spectacularly public way. That can’t be easy – it’s not easy under any circumstances and she can’t really just kill her social media profiles off now can she? They can’t escape it at all and that would be hard. Media is relentless. It’s hard for everyone who goes through anything under the media limelight. Yet watch our pop women rise, roar, carry on and hold their heads high.  We fall down sometimes and we get back up. Whoop.

I think that those who have ever suffered a similar emotional bullethole need to arm themselves with the following and ditch the bandaids…(if only Taylor knew about that post Jake… Oh Trouble trouble what a clip… and so heartbreaking)

Love hurts: a kit to survive any heartbreak – check it out it really exists! 

Love kit click that <

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So sing out loud and have a cathartic release – I am! x

” you made a reaaaaaaaaallly big cutttttt ”

Elusive Englishmen?

“I lived in the UK for 7 years and never met any man who was anything like either Hugh Grant or Colin Firth”

Heard this morning whilst walking to work.

I actually had to stop walking and just take a moment to process that information and digest it adequately. What devastating news to hear at 7:30am in the morning and on a Thursday morning no less. Monday might have been more manageable but certainly not on the downhill weekend run.

What particularly did these women mean? It got me thinking…and I love to entertain my head space with Hugh and Colin. What female wouldn’t?

I realise that I spend a considerable amount of time in the romantic landscapes of my head and I am aware they are quite removed from reality but… great love stories do exist and can happen so I choose to remain eternally hopefully/blissfully ignorant. I blame the rom-com genre largely for this fantasy and Hugh Grant and Colin Firth play a big role in this area! I find them both/their characters intoxicating.

I guess we may as well start with the most obvious character – in his pure period piece sexiness, we have Colin Firth’s portrayal of Mr. Darcy from the 1995 BBC miniseries Pride and Prejudice. There has been a plethora of commentary -both literary and otherwise about Mr Darcy but I can sum it all up with this quote:null

“In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.” – Mr Darcy to Elizabeth Bennet

Does anyone do ardently anymore? Anyone? Anyone? Someone please show me ardently.

Perhaps if it was this concept those women were referring to then I get their point…

Colin seems earnest in real life and maybe that is such a rarity in men these days. He definitely plays a reluctant sex symbol well! I mean his appeal stretches over huge age differences with women from teens to the elderly!

I certainly know that Colin Firth is by no means type cast in roles however a lot of his characters are emotionally sensitive. He really conveys the ‘still waters run deep’ theory that women love to pick apart.Think of the films he is in; Easy Virtue, Love Actually, Hope Springs, Mama Mia, The Accidental Husband and let’s move on to one of my favourites, Bridget Jones’s Diary.

We get a delightful double dose with these two in this film. Mark Darcy played by Colin Firth. He definitely fits the criteria of tall, dark and handsome. I am sure a lot of you have seen it so I don’t need to go into detail or character analysis but his charm can be summed up in this quote:

Mark Darcy: I like you, very much.
Bridget: Ah, apart from the smoking and the drinking, the vulgar mother and… ah, the verbal diarrhoea.
Mark Darcy: No, I like you very much. Just as you are.

Be still my beating heart indeed! I think if anyone said that to me I might just pass out.
To be honest I don’t know why more men aren’t watching all these movies and taking notes. So simple and so effective. I am not sure what this taps into but this shy,awkward and unassuming emotive man is somewhat appealing. I think at the heart of Colin’s characters there is this awkwardness and level of misunderstanding as detailed in this clip and including the above quote of swooning awesomeness.

Let’s now chat about Daniel Cleaver played by High Grant. Without a doubt he embodies everything we should stay away from in a man.(I have blogged about this previously) We definitely know that this type of character exists. He creates that witty banter girls can’t get enough of, coupled with irresistible charm and office raciness. Imagine Daniel Cleaver on text. I get flustered thinking about that. We can all identify a Daniel Cleaver. Surely these women don’t want this element of Daniel Cleaver and we certainly don’t want a man who likes to involve himself with prostitutes from time to time either? I think perhaps the women this morning were looking at a highlights package of them both, thus the reason they can’t find any replications of them.  Hugh Grant does have that British cheekiness present in all his films. Think about Four Weddings and a Funeral,Notting Hill, Music and Lyrics, About a Boy, Sense and Sensibility to name a few. Bumbling, fumbling, considered English accents will do a lot for females it would seem. In person, his wit is lightening fast and perhaps this is what my ladies nullthis morning were referencing. The English humour and wit is a rare treat to experience. It definitely has a strange hold over women. Perhaps that is not prevalent because we live in Australia.. I don’t have any answers fellow females!

I feel like those women this morning hadn’t really given that comment the attention it deserved. They hadn’t really workshopped the idea thoroughly. I can only conclude that they/women everywhere have an idea in their heads of what Hugh Grant and Colin Firth represent – and it seems to be a hybrid of their on screen characters and snippets of their real life persona.

Either way, I urge all women to remain positive that we can find elements of Hugh and Colin on this earth and if you can’t there’s no harm in a little daydream from time to time…

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You had me at SAMCRO

Yes you did Kurt Sutter…

I am beyond devastated that I only have a few more episodes of Sons of Anarchy left to watch. FOREVER. What will my Wednesday nights looks like now? Vast, all encompassing emptiness?
The line and following scene “you had me at hello” from Jerry Maguire ruined females everywhere. We all thought it was terribly romantic. What about the infamous “You complete me”… no no no Jerry. That just taught us to not be whole, healthy individuals. It taught us to go for the Jax Teller’s of the world.

“Don’t wait for someone else to complete you. ‘Jerry Maguire’ was just a movie.” – Oprah Winfrey.

AMEN OPRAH, AMEN.

I’m quite certain that my Jax Teller infatuation has escalated to concerning heights so it is probably for the best that this love affair will end. I think if anyone had any crush on any of the SAMCRO members it wouldn’t end well. A lot of my friends liked Opie and  look how that turned out. It can’t be healthy. Logically we know that right? So what about chemistry then? What’s its place in all this? There’s a strange chemistry that exists between me and the tv screen.Chemistry is what allows us to overlook all those massive flaws. I mean where exactly do we learn this bad behaviour from and why do we continually put up with unacceptable behaviour?

Maybe it is for the best that Jax teller will no longer be gracing my tv screen. It may have taken me 7 seasons to get there but I think I am coming to terms with the reality that Jax is no Jerry Maguire and despite all his intentions his actions speak louder.Yes, it definitely is for the best because loving you Jax Teller, means having to split you into your essence and who you really are, versus your actions which goes against your true nature …sigh. But guess what female fans? Jax is a complete package. If you are wondering what a red flag might be in a relationship I suggest Jax Teller and the SAMCRO lads might embody a few of them….let’s take a closer look.

1. Significant family and friends don’t like your partner.

nullTara’s boss was pretty on the money … Margaret becomes more supportive of Tara and does everything she can to prevent her becoming totally involved and lost in the SAMCRO world. Why do we ignore the people that love us?!!

2. Unfaithful and shady behaviour
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Remember that episode where your heart just sunk because even though it was somewhat inevitable … you were still hoping he was different. Your high school sweetheart is in prison …. because of you. ARGH.

3. They break the law

.. and not in a little way … in a really big way that endangers you and your life oh and happens to lie about it a lot oh and that generally makes them emotionally unavailable because they are often in JAIL! 

There is so much literature on this topic of red flags but you know I am also going to throw the following out there – he is a criminal, murderer, impulsive, unstable, abusive… etc etc and yet we just like to hit the override button and ignore these things don’t we ladies?? Sure it is from the safe distance of our couches but what are we absorbing?

Are you still swooning?null
Why?
Because… look at him….!

But seriously…?

Let the justifications begin…

Oh because he means well, his hearts in the right spot, oh he’s sooooooooooooo misunderstood, he really does love Tara, he’s been through so much, he is a product of his environment, it’s learnt behaviour, he seems to be remorseful, he has to do those things in order to create the life he wants, oh he’s an antihero.

Really?

Is it ever that straightforward? Isn’t it a bit like agonising over ice cream flavours – you know they aren’t good for you but you don’t want to miss out on that experience and opportunity… just saying…

For me it is so simple.

The connection between Jax and Tara seems to negate all of the above red flags and maybe that is really unhealthy but I think portraying true connection on TV is challenging and Kurt definitely succeeded. Rather than being beaten over the head with literature about red flags, unhealthy dating, ignore the positives and look at the negatives that he is doing… what about actions…what about the indescribable connection that exists between two people…where words fail
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and my favourite scene….of them ever…
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Does that count for nothing?

Aren’t those moments the ones that matter that override the bad ones? The ones you feel like you can’t endure because the highs are so high and the lows are so low (or criminal in this case).  Perhaps it will be healthy for women everywhere that Sons of Anarchy is ending as is our romantic delusions with unattainable fictional biker men. We can go back to other unhealthy relationships that are seemingly less complicated with pizza and ice cream.

Jackson Nathaniel Teller you are the reason women find themselves at a place I like to call dysfunction junction.

You give us everything and nothing and you will be missed

This is for all the ladies who have a Jax Teller

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