Cole Lockhart is emerging as my favourite character on The Affair and that was cemented for me  after this week’s episode.

There’s nothing like a family gathering during the holidays to showcase and highlight the layers of dysfunction within. Cole finally erupted after weeks of trudging along of what I could only describe as – just existing. Cole is coping not living in this season.  He’s consumed by destructive habits and behaviours and a head space to match. I needed to see his current mental state crack wide open. I needed to know he was still in there. I have been clutching to hope that he was not too far down the spiral.

After his fiery rant and dissection of Noah’s book, the evening is interrupted by Whitney. As he drives her back to the city they share a moment of raw truths. They both seem to gain some clarity after their chaotic outbursts. It seems that after he has released the emotions that have been bubbling inside him he is finally able to make peace with them.

In this current headspace we see him show up at Luisa’s. I must say I was distraught at his beyond assholeishness behaviour earlier on in the episode.

“I come from a long line of unforgivable men. I think I got used to being alone. It’s been a while since I’ve had someone I cared about. I did it on purpose. I was trying to hurt you. I was trying to make you walk out of my house. And as soon as you did, I wanted you back. I can’t promise you I will be the best thing that ever happened to you, but I promise you I will never hurt you like that again. And I am good for my word. I may not be good for much, but I am good for my word.”

Second chance used up. I know what the dating books and gurus might say about that behaviour…but…the heart wants what the heart wants.

Brilliantly raw. He found his true north again.

I dare say women everywhere were hoping that all the men that they have ever been with who display even a shred of the traits displayed by Cole,  would realise the error of their ways, appear on your doorstep professing their love and standing in their own emotional truth. Is it that much to ask for? Dig deep and get real.

Let’s hope things improve  and his actions and words align.