*Warning: I have just done a Vinyasa yoga class (wrong move as it makes me so revved up in a bad way, not a good endorphin way, and this is why I must stick to Yin which calms me down) and then a series of work related events has riled me up and here I am blogging*
I heard that statement today and my brain just went AHA! Not as meaningful perhaps as Oprah’s AHA moments but profound to me and potentially people everywhere. After a bit of research turns out it was from a blog post by dating coach Evan Marc Katz. I actually think his approach is healthy and useful if you do need a bit of insight.
I am through with lazy texters and lazy communicators.
I am going to be open with you – when it comes to texting I have absolutely no idea anymore on how to navigate this. All I can really conclude is that it depends on the relationship between those texting. It is different for everyone.
I really find it disappointing falling into the lazy texting category with guys and I take responsibility for this. I can banter, I have wit, I like the attention, it’s so quick to to do, sometimes it is an information exchange, I like communicating in general with people, it comes with ease to me blah blah but that only lasts so long before I start to think whoaaaaaaa hang on a minute…you are making minimal effort, you are scraping by with the basics and I am allowing that behaviour to exist. I am not going to entertain lazy texters anymore and if I ever date again I will be asking for calls and face to face interactions just to eradicate all this guesswork. I think texts should be used, especially with the opposite sex, as informative devices.
Text like these seem functional and approved in my world:
* “I’m running late” – (I am a time freak – I love people being that aware to tell me, but also it’s just common courtesy to let people know that you are running late if you have the means to do so – then tell them)
* “Have you run out of diet coke and should I bring you one home ?” – Big points here but naturally just assume I have and bring me one anyway – actions always override words and when they both align we are happy)
*(insert any compliment here) – it is ALWAYS nice to hear anything positive and then reinforce it in real life by SAYING it!
* “Hi see you at 6:30pm at the restaurant” – just a confirmation of plans
* “I just found out that the Leftovers season 2 is starting on xxx” – information of urgent importance is nice too, especially when it is something you love. It does show thoughtfulness on some scale. Sometimes you can’t always be physically present to exchange it face to face due to the fast paced world we know live in…
you know what would be better than all those…?
A phone call where we discuss all of the above or even a face to face catch up.
Remember in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (classic movie) the extent Ferris has to go to to maintain the lie that he is sick.I want to go back to those days where effort was considered and creative and it was done on the phone. He used a midi track for coughing and sneezing! Sure this is to do with chucking a sickie, a trivial matter, but if they go to this much effort for school acquaintances imagine what they would do if they liked you!
I must say it is different with your friends and close family – you can banter and text all day and send stupid emoticons but it’s in addition to having real life interactions and phone calls. In addition to is the key phrase there.
Maybe I am old fashioned but I think I am worth the effort and if they bother they will know that. I can’t deal with the rules and game playing that follows who to text, time frames, if he says this do that. My head literally explodes with confusion and stress. I am also done with people who just fall off the earth if I don’t contact them. I should not have to remind people that I exist.
I mean I want to ask Stevie Wonder if he still believes that people will just call to say they love you. Or if he has changed his mind to think that they will just update their facebook status to ‘in a relationship’.
Texting in general must be the icing ( I mean everybody loves icing and licking the bowl too, so I get it, I get how much we love the icing) but It can’t be the cake.