Jessa Johansson makes me recoil the most out of the GIRLS gang. It’s no secret that I think the character writing is phenomenal and we feel and react exactly how they intend for us to do so. I can’t really identify with Jessa in any way other than she is someone that wouldn’t even hit my radar, someone toxic I’d run from and yet I still have empathy for her and her point of view, but this is only because it’s being presented to me in that fabulous way that only HBO can do.
Jessa finally had her light bulb moment for me in S4 EP9 and it certainly resonated with me. (Yes I am behind – just too much tv scheduling going on at the moment!) She had clarity and a shred of that tattered self esteem seemed to be repaired. I have always had a strange sombre opinion around Jessa because she is so intelligent who just doesn’t know how to handle her issues. Just like many females experience in their 20’s ( I know i certainly did) we are just going through the motions of this thing called life. On reflection I think I was so feral in essence. A wonderful hybrid of opposites! So much sifting and sorting to work out who we are, who aren’t and more importantly, who we want to become. Becoming a women of high value and high worth is tough and it doesn’t come all that naturally to some of us. All of them struggle with this in some capacity. It is only now in my 30’s that I am reflecting and now working on myself in a more positive light. Just oh so many lessons to learn and the universe keeps repeating them until we get it.
Ok back to Jessa. Standing up for yourself is tough. Identifying a situation is even harder when it actually happening and when it involves matters of the heart is incredibly challenging. We are masters at ignoring red flags, poor behaviour and being treated less than.We make excuses and allow people to get away with this less than acceptable behaviour.
I saw a raw honesty to Jessa this epiode at the scene in Mimi Rose’s apartment. Oh dear.
We have all been there. If you haven’t – count yourself lucky. It is an experience you n need to have though to help you reset your esteem and value. You are with someone and things seem off center. You know instinctively but you ignore it. You ignore it because you want to be happy and for the most part you are. Ace’s behaviour about seeing Mimi Rose because they just ‘happen to be in the neighbourhood’ seems harmless but it is still sounding alarm bells. Easy for the viewer to identify this but we all know that when you are in the moment – the strength and insight as well as foresight required to remove yourself from those situations, is so difficult (well for me and i suspect a fair few females!)
The whole scene in Mimi Rose’s apartment is vile. Emotionally unaware people – ew. And they seem to unfortunately be on the rise…
Jessa, after letting a few things pass, (and I think this is unusual behaviour for her and shows her vulnerability to be loved and just how much she wants it to work with Ace because normally she doesn’t tolerate shit) finally lets out a comment directed at Adam:
“Okay, this is officially bullshit…if you have any sense at all , you’ll leave with me right now and never look back”
Empowering. Doing the right thing is sometimes the hardest and you feel flat. I have often wondered why the decisions that are best for us are so excruciating.
I just liked that Jessa could be open and unreserved for once about what she really feels. With a bleakness to her voice “ I saw adventure and someone who never stopped moving; didn’t give me a chance to think. I don’t do well when I think.”
Adam and her have that frank honesty between them which is definitely rare in my opining, to be that transparent and especially with the opposite sex.
A continual reminder to all of us struggling with this concept of value and self worth that we must always reach for that higher place.
Safe to say that Jessa and I have a new mantra…time to clear all those people who don’t serve my highest good. You shouldn’t have to remind people you exist! See ya’s