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Hey Julie London, Hey Justin Timberlake, Hey Parkway Drive – I just cried an OCEAN. Not a river, an ocean. How’s that for one upmanship? Oh dear. Note to self – no more watching Nicholas Sparks related movies.NO NO NO. There comes a point in life when you think SURELY you can’t cry anymore? Yes I know it is a release and needed to come out, Yes I know it means I sway heavily towards the empath scale, Yes I know it means I am cleansing myself and getting rid of the gunk in my life . Yes I know it releases stress and be cathartic but you know what? Sometimes you don’t feel better after crying. Sometimes you are left exhausted with a big headache. However a positive outtake is that it really does throughly remove any left over mascara or eye make up that you just can’t seem to get off.

Ugh some days just take you by surprise throw you upside down and around like the gravatron. What a horrible ride that is. If you don’t know what that is look it up. It’s like you are going along your life path just doing your thing then WHAM,BAM the gravatron effect takes over and you are sucked under and feel like you are going through the mud again. You know those days where you just feel like you are striving/resisting (apparently) and it all seems to hard?  To help me really bring this home I need to refer to one of my favourite childhood books and movies. Sometimes, in my overly dramatised headspace of what my life must look like externally,the very upsetting image from my childhood, of Atreyu and Artax from the Neverending Story striving and struggling through mud is a great metaphor to use. Obviously in today’s scenario I am Artax – they are but they Yin and Yang. Just like everything.

I, like Atreyu, didn’t need to be venturing through the swamps of sadness today or any other day for that matter, but hey… isn’t it all part of the journey? I just found myself there having to deal with it as best I could. Like Artax, sometimes you just give up and you succumb to the swaps of sadness. You can’t always fight the moods.Luckily I didn’t drown in my own outpouring – in some ways I feel quite selfish that Australia is in such drought and I probably could of  fixed that today with my waterworks efforts.

I mean on the upside of being down, I used today to eat whatever I want ( and see previous post – STILL NO RESTOCKING OF MY FAVOURITE CHIPS to be found), laying in a carbohydrate coma on my bed, cuddling a pillow ( a really good inadvertent yoga pose) and catching up on tv and movies. That went well of course until I decided to watch ” The Best of Me”  instead of ” Nightcrawler” – yet another superb decision making process on my part…not.

All i can say about that is where is my god damn LUCK DRAGON. Where is my Falcor?

I want a giant, flying labrador dragon thing. It seems fair? I think I deserve one? Why can’t I have one? Thanks again imaginative people for putting something out there THAT I CAN’T HAVE.
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Sometimes you just can’t.

So today I surrender to the swamps of sadness and wait for my Falcor and when I DO get to fly around with him I will have made a slight adjustment to the theme song – just a touch of metal. Now that makes me smile…

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