Let’s forget February. I am not a fan of February at all. No, no I am not and here’s why…
In Australia it is possibly on a climatic scale, the foulest of all months. It’s hot, no wait, it’s unbearably hot. It’s soooo hot that a lot of people can be seen sporting a tan I like to refer to as the ‘lobster tan’. It’s not brown, it’s not sunburn red it is a strange hybrid of the two. Surprisingly the tourists seem to be the only ones sporting a proper tan in the spectrum, or at least a gradient of the colour “brown”. A lot of Australians just don’t seem to recognise that a large percentage of us have ancestral roots in the UK (England/Ireland/Scotland/Wales) and therefore our skin is more of the pale, easy to burn persuasion.
Not only is it so hot that you can burn within minutes and then swiftly require a visit to the skin cancer clinic, it’s humid. It’s humid and it’s overcast. It’s so humid that I feel like I am permanently walking around in a bathroom after a very hot,steamy shower. Humidity inevitably results in, for me, constant sweating (Not the good kind of “I’m having amazing sex sweating”..sadly, but the again anyone wanting to have sex in Australia
with me in February take note, IT WOULD NEED TO BE IN A PLACE WITH AIR CONDITIONING! ) Sweat and make up don’t mix. Sweat, fake tan and make up certainly don’t mix. Sweat, fake tan, make up and hair, especially frizzy hair are all the ingredients to throw any female, no matter how attractive, into the depths of some body dysmorphic disorder meltdown.
I straightened my hair today because I had an external meeting with a client and my boss. We are a pretty relaxed company and to be honest, I just don’t really invest in the time I could to look presentable. I do, on occasion but day to day with no one to impress, I haven’t got the time! However, the effort was required today. I honestly don’t know why I bothered. No amount of frizz control hair product could salvage it. By the time I walked the odd 15 minute stroll to the bus stop this morning I was sweaty, my hair was frizzing out of control. I could feel the little offshoots sprouting from the top of my head. I can only assume it looked like a piece of steel wool on top of a sheep. In short, one big fuzzy mess. There is no way to rectify this once your hair has been exposed to this harsh environment you are gone. I hate to say it but I have tried all the mentioned steps here http://www.cosmopolitan.com/style-beauty/beauty/how-to/a24487/how-to-deal-with-frizz-when-its-humid-out/ and… I have fully accepted this situation and I gently let it go. Despite all this, I couldn’t help but giggle to myself because it immediately took me back to an episode of Friends where Monica’s hair goes frizzy. You can see the video of this here http://www.5percangol.hu/film/friends_monica_039_s_funny_hair and it just reaffirms how widespread the issue is!
Then we have the never ending overcast days. A nightmare for headache sufferers like myself. February in Sydney especially sees frequent changes in humidity, temperature, storms and barometric pressure changes. So on the off chance you can escape the house with a decent hair style chances are that the weather conditions will change and so you may as well just admit defeat in February. Succumb and throw your hair back into a pony tail. The sleek air hostess look – no one will know it is actually sweat keeping it in place and not some gel hair product or super strength hairspray.
Forget exercising during work hours unless you want to come back looking like you have had some type of mishap with a hose. I am not sure, but there are a few lucky ones that don’t sweat, that keep their make up perfect during exercise…they are envied. My immediate thoughts are perhaps they just aren’t working hard enough if they aren’t sweating it out!
Aside from battling the elements in February. We have valentines day to contend with. Regardless of my relationship status it’s never been a day I can warm too. Just another hallmark creation. Years of healthy rewiring of my brain has taught me that gestures of love and romance should be spontaneous and yet consistent and not reliant on ONE day. I would never say no to flowers though. ONE good thing is the use of stationery on this day I love cards and handwritten notes. I might just start sending honest ones next year like the following from the hilarious Natalie Dee…
Four more days of February to get through. It can’t come sooner!