You are making me very sad today but I still believe deep,deep down in those corridors of my mind and heart that this can exist…and whilst I want to pretty much scream under water and tantrum and cry my eyes out until even the very best waterproof mascara succumbs to my flood of tears, there is always that little flicker and pixie dust – it is just dim right now… fading…fractured. Hope is a funny thing. Labels make all things related to this emotion we call love seem so complicated and so easy. I was listening to a song that reminded me of the person causing this and it said it’s just so easy, it’s hard. That is all I feel right now. I am retreating, going inward and laughing that I really will end up being eaten by alsatians like Bridget Jones, swearing off all Daniel Cleavers.
I am absolutely petrified of online dating or just anyone at the moment showing me any type of interest. So it must be all about me for a bit I think.
Too much Disney? Too many fairy tales? Maybe, maybe not though. It seems to exist for some people.
UGH the joys of an eternally hopeful female or a seriously deluded one. Sometimes I wonder just HOW I got this so wrong. I am currently existing in some catatonic state.
So yes today I am being vulnerable and letting out my inner hopeless romantic and less logical, critical side. I am embracing the quotes of Nicholas Sparks and sighing to the sky.
I don’t really have anything tangible to help me digest this and I can’t even use my own words to communicate it correctly or with the weight I feel that would reflect how I truly feel.
Best to borrow words in that case.