Yes you did Kurt Sutter…

I am beyond devastated that I only have a few more episodes of Sons of Anarchy left to watch. FOREVER. What will my Wednesday nights looks like now? Vast, all encompassing emptiness?
The line and following scene “you had me at hello” from Jerry Maguire ruined females everywhere. We all thought it was terribly romantic. What about the infamous “You complete me”… no no no Jerry. That just taught us to not be whole, healthy individuals. It taught us to go for the Jax Teller’s of the world.

“Don’t wait for someone else to complete you. ‘Jerry Maguire’ was just a movie.” – Oprah Winfrey.

AMEN OPRAH, AMEN.

I’m quite certain that my Jax Teller infatuation has escalated to concerning heights so it is probably for the best that this love affair will end. I think if anyone had any crush on any of the SAMCRO members it wouldn’t end well. A lot of my friends liked Opie and  look how that turned out. It can’t be healthy. Logically we know that right? So what about chemistry then? What’s its place in all this? There’s a strange chemistry that exists between me and the tv screen.Chemistry is what allows us to overlook all those massive flaws. I mean where exactly do we learn this bad behaviour from and why do we continually put up with unacceptable behaviour?

Maybe it is for the best that Jax teller will no longer be gracing my tv screen. It may have taken me 7 seasons to get there but I think I am coming to terms with the reality that Jax is no Jerry Maguire and despite all his intentions his actions speak louder.Yes, it definitely is for the best because loving you Jax Teller, means having to split you into your essence and who you really are, versus your actions which goes against your true nature …sigh. But guess what female fans? Jax is a complete package. If you are wondering what a red flag might be in a relationship I suggest Jax Teller and the SAMCRO lads might embody a few of them….let’s take a closer look.

1. Significant family and friends don’t like your partner.

nullTara’s boss was pretty on the money … Margaret becomes more supportive of Tara and does everything she can to prevent her becoming totally involved and lost in the SAMCRO world. Why do we ignore the people that love us?!!

2. Unfaithful and shady behaviour
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Remember that episode where your heart just sunk because even though it was somewhat inevitable … you were still hoping he was different. Your high school sweetheart is in prison …. because of you. ARGH.

3. They break the law

.. and not in a little way … in a really big way that endangers you and your life oh and happens to lie about it a lot oh and that generally makes them emotionally unavailable because they are often in JAIL! 

There is so much literature on this topic of red flags but you know I am also going to throw the following out there – he is a criminal, murderer, impulsive, unstable, abusive… etc etc and yet we just like to hit the override button and ignore these things don’t we ladies?? Sure it is from the safe distance of our couches but what are we absorbing?

Are you still swooning?null
Why?
Because… look at him….!

But seriously…?

Let the justifications begin…

Oh because he means well, his hearts in the right spot, oh he’s sooooooooooooo misunderstood, he really does love Tara, he’s been through so much, he is a product of his environment, it’s learnt behaviour, he seems to be remorseful, he has to do those things in order to create the life he wants, oh he’s an antihero.

Really?

Is it ever that straightforward? Isn’t it a bit like agonising over ice cream flavours – you know they aren’t good for you but you don’t want to miss out on that experience and opportunity… just saying…

For me it is so simple.

The connection between Jax and Tara seems to negate all of the above red flags and maybe that is really unhealthy but I think portraying true connection on TV is challenging and Kurt definitely succeeded. Rather than being beaten over the head with literature about red flags, unhealthy dating, ignore the positives and look at the negatives that he is doing… what about actions…what about the indescribable connection that exists between two people…where words fail
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and my favourite scene….of them ever…
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Does that count for nothing?

Aren’t those moments the ones that matter that override the bad ones? The ones you feel like you can’t endure because the highs are so high and the lows are so low (or criminal in this case).  Perhaps it will be healthy for women everywhere that Sons of Anarchy is ending as is our romantic delusions with unattainable fictional biker men. We can go back to other unhealthy relationships that are seemingly less complicated with pizza and ice cream.

Jackson Nathaniel Teller you are the reason women find themselves at a place I like to call dysfunction junction.

You give us everything and nothing and you will be missed

This is for all the ladies who have a Jax Teller

sutterink.com/
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